 |
| Eve portrait. Art by Jaid |
My beloved had been sick for nearly
a week and had not even been acknowledging her ascension studies. Perhaps she
had been avoiding me as well. She awoke to the sound of Judy pilfering outside
her room. She dozed off again.
In her dream I see my beloved
sitting toward the back of the group in ascended lecture. She stares blankly
toward the constellation of Ørion. My beloved is more than ill. And she is more
than dying. She is soul-sick, defeated and giving up. Upon waking, she has not bothered to
write any of the lectures down to share with her sister, Nari.
My beloved awakens to a darkened
room and wanders into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I try to warn her,
but her mind is closed to me as it has been for nearly a week now. As she
returns to her bedroom she sees that Judy has propped a board up into the
narrow path to her room leveled at her face. Had my beloved walked back in the
darkness and stumbled over Judy’s piled garbage she could have easily been
struck in the face with it. I sense that familiar rage awaken within my
beloved. Without her awareness ascension training, her primal nature is no
longer bound. It rages within as would a fiend’s addiction after long sobriety.
My beloved went to Judy to ask her why she would do such a thing. Judy’s reply
was predictable as ever yet not wisely said for the moment.
“Because this is my house and
I’ll put my things where I want. And I’m tired of you attacking me for every
little thing I do.” Judy replies.
“I have only asked that you not
use every opportunity to skulk through my belongings while I am away.” My
beloved states calmly. But I see in her mind a coiled pit viper common to the
area resting soundly in a black box in a drawer where my beloved keeps her most
personal of things.
In my awareness I see that my
beloved found the snake cold in the yard in the changing of the seasons. She
took it in and rested it upon her chest while lying in bed. The creature is
warmed against her flesh and soon regains its composure. It coils and rears its
head toward my beloved’s face. I am not afraid and neither is my beloved. We
are both aware that the snake is aware from where it is provided its warmth.
The creature is young and quite deadly, yet my beloved respects it and thus is
careful when handling it. My beloved opens the lid of the box and the snake
slithers toward the darkness within. It is kept warmed and fed and is content
to serve its purpose should it be disturbed. The situation is getting out of
hand.
“Does one or both of us have to
die before you come to realize that you have a total lack of regard for anyone
but yourself? You are no victim, Judy. You are a monster. And any act you do
toward me will only serve in bringing that fact to light.” My beloved says. In my awareness I see
all possible futures. I see Judy opening the box when my beloved leaves. The
snake is aware of the one who nurtures it from those who do not.
The argument between my beloved and
Judy is heating up. I struggle to intervene, but my beloved keeps her mind
tightly closed to me. “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” Judy yells to my beloved. “Before
I call the police to remove you.”
“That’s not how this works.” My
beloved stated clearly. “You do not get to utterly use me up and leave me
with nothing then kick me out into the cold. I welcome you to do as much to me
as you will while still struggling to portray yourself as a victim. Call
whomever you will. Trust me, it will not end as you believe it will.” My
beloved finished this argument knowing that anything she says will be twisted
to those Judy uses to enable her fantasy as a victim. Judy leaves the house and
I am aware someone will now show up at the door to remove my beloved. When the
knock at the door sounds, it is not the police, but Pastor Ebb Foxx. He is invited
in.
“What’s going on here?” He
asks.
“You have been informed of
Judy’s version of what is happening here as well as your entire congregation.
She gossips of her own family to strangers as would one do in regard to an
enemy. I am merely portraying my part in her telling, brother Ebb.” My
beloved’s words practically chill the air. The aura around her is like an alien
presence to even myself that is her own kind. It is undeniable evidence of what
we truly are and that which we struggle to rise above.
Pastor Ebb is even taken aback from
the chill in her voice. The room is dark and my beloved stands within the
shadows. He is visibly made uneasy in her presence. But the threat she poses to
him is much more dangerous than bodily harm. The demon he faces is no mere
hound of his hell, but the true demon that his kind has hidden in fear of since
the dawning of man. The demon before him is reality.
“I asked for your help before,
Ebb. I am sorry it came to this to get you out here. But the situation has now
come to a tipping point in your absence and is now upon Judy. As one who
enables her to do her deeds, you are now called to deal with the consequences
of your actions.” My beloved speaks as would a judge and her words are
damning. Ebb is now very much taken aback.
“How is this now my doing?”
Ebb defends himself.
“As I stated, I merely asked if
you would pass along that I needed someone who could repair a car or
motorcycle. You were dismissive. Judy drives her car into a deep puddle and
ruins her engine and within days your church has provided her with another. She
had an opportunity to experience the confining life she has bestowed upon me,
yet you saved her from it. As I stated, before… this is now the consequence.” My
beloved’s stance is even uncertain to me and I wish she would open her thoughts
so that I can be more than a witness.
“As a woman of God, Judy is
deserving of the help of her church.” Ebb continues to defend.
“Not to the detriment and
enslavement of others. Judy uses your help while ensuring I will never get free
of her. I am only struggling to leave. She has well over a million dollars in
property she could sell to live out her days in comfort rather than beg charity
from you or demand penance from me.” My beloved states. Brother Ebb is
again visibly astonished to learn of the size of Judy’s little secret nest egg.
“Well no one is stopping you
from leaving. And what she owns is hers to do with not yours.” Ebb states
in condescension.
“I don’t remember conveying that
I intend to have anything that is Judy’s when I leave here. In her spite, she
has no intent upon repaying me for the lifetime of misery she has put me
through. No, her last will and testament will be her final act of cruelty
beyond the grave. It will be her last letter to her ungrateful child, if it
pleases. I will not be there to hear it. When I walk out of here it will be
properly and ensuring I never have to return. Trust me; if I leave here tonight
in the darkness Judy will not like the repercussion.” My beloved speaks
truth. She has long thought of this coming and of the war that would follow.
She fully intends to sever this tie with Judy and all ties related.
“Well, I only help those who
believe in Jesus.” Ebb replies. “I have no regard for anyone that does
not accept Jesus.” Ebb is now aware that he has inadvertently revealed more
evidence of Judy’s gossiping. I see the black tongue of the viper within my
beloved’s mind testing the air. In Ascension, we are not afforded mystical
powers of prognostication. If my beloved guards her thoughts I cannot know
them. I can only discern what she shows me. I am now aware that I am made
uneasy by snakes as Judy is by spiders. Yet, my beloved gleans affection of a
sort from such creatures. I do not know
if this viper is a real thing or simply thought.
“I spent the greater part of my
life in faith to Jesus and it never afforded me any protection from the world.
That blind faith in doctrine only made me a slave and made all of this worse.
What you are witnessing now is a mind being purged of such nonsense. When I put
that away, I became aware of reality as it is and not as I wished it to be.” My
beloved replied. If he thought this would be an exorcism of sorts of my
beloved, this would be his pillar upon which to judge her in her denial of the
existence of his god. But he treads dangerously close to being dragged by my
beloved before the rotting corpse of his god.
She shows me a vision in her mind
of herself treading water with brother Ebb. She looks over to him and says, “Stop
swimming and your god will save you.” I see Ebb’s head sink beneath the
surface while she continues to diligently tread the sea of reality. This is a
metaphorical vision and can take on many scenarios toward the same fate. This
is not a conversation a pastor wants to have with one such as my baby sister. I
am made aware that she could literally destroy the man. Ebb would much rather
speak to the demon standing beside her. I too would much rather Ebb speak with
me. I have no intent to harm. Anuitnakeim is contemplating killing Ebb’s god
and then him soon after. The irony is inescapable. This is an attempted
exorcism in which the true threat is the one who is governed by the one
perceived to be the demon.
“Don’t blame God for the
situation you have placed yourself in.” Ebb says.
“I have no judgment against any
gods for the personal hell I endure. I put myself here in good faith the help I
gave Judy would be returned mutually. And by your own words, that was my
failing. If you truly are here to help, does my refusal to subjugate myself to
your god merit your washing your hands of me now?” My beloved replies and I
see within Ebb another tried and true debate topic being rendered irrelevant.
She further dismissed the attempt
to make this an ideological discussion and stay within the confines of reality.
I am thankful she is not intent upon comparing the man’s faith to harsh
reality. “This is a real issue and the presence/absence of any god at play
here is irrelevant. I live within reality as it is rather than I wish it to be.
I will find a job, and when I do, everything I earn will go toward getting away
from here. I do not want anything from Judy. And you have now become an
involuntary witness in the true definition of the word apart from your
doctrine. Judy can no longer twist truth in hiding. Light is now upon her by
her own doing.”
Pastor Ebb believed he would have
the tools of his doctrine, but those tools are useless against one who has no
fear or doubts about reality. In truth, my beloved has become aware of how to
wield truth like a razor against the indoctrinated and to even kill them with
it. I see this is what she wanted to show me. She knows I love her too dearly
to stop her should she do this. The viper’s blackened eyes gaze at me from its
place coiled about her neck. And I feel the fear of my beloved leaving me for
the first time in my existence. Almost as soon as I begin to panic my beloved
opens her mind and embraces me. I am overwhelmed and thankful to again be near
her. I do not care for the warnings of the Zen entity. I will never be apart
from Naki again.
“I would love to have an
ideological discussion with someone who believes in doctrine so faithfully, but
now is not the time. I have begun this separation and it is now the priority.
But I will share this with you… Physics is the only true gospel. In your search
for God you should have become a math professor.” She said with not an
ounce of fear. Ebb was visibly astounded in this concept.
“And Jesus Christ has left the
building.” I remark dryly, somewhat astounded myself from my cross legged
perch upon the kitchen counter. My beloved is not distracted by me.
“I agree that you should leave
here. Being as things are.” Ebb admits after a long moment of pause.
“Don’t mislead yourself into
believing I have any reservations about your perception of me. Believe of me as
Judy has told you. You are here and she can no longer wield you as a tool to
harbor sympathy for her. She will now have to make her claimed deeds real
rather than lies. And that is why you are here. And with this, there is nothing
left to discuss.” She states coldly.
“Well, Judy is sitting at Waffle
House afraid to come back home.” Ebb tells her.
“Do I come across to you as
someone who has ever threatened my mother? There is only one monster in this
house and you are being played by it, sir. Now go tell it what I have said.”
My beloved turns and leaves him standing in the living room.
I remain and stare into his eyes.
He gazes toward my beloved. In his life long search for truth, this was as
close as he has ever come. He is unaware of me, this dead thing staring nose to
nose with him. “Stop swimming and your god will save you.” I whisper
with a shudder. How easily Naki could have killed him with his own faith as her
blade. In truth, if he is nothing more than a charlatan, it would be much
easier.
Judy
returns with Ebb and they see that my beloved has cut off all of her beautiful
long ebon hair. I ached to watch her do this and Nari will be furious! The
second part of this hellish play opens with Naki facing both Judy and Ebb. The
details are redundant as Judy berates my beloved without any inclination that
she is verifying, with her own mouth, the damning accusations of my beloved. My
beloved ignores Judy’s presence in the room and stays focused on Ebb. It is
doubtful Judy realizes my beloved will never utter another word to her directly
again.
They have
taken a stance in the debate of portraying my beloved as some sort of
freeloader. Any verification of her contribution to the house is declared
irrelevant by both. Judy chimes in recounting decades of gossip against her
child without shame. Brother Ebb admits to seeing my beloved’s computer screen
while at the coffee shop in which he tells Judy of seeing images of a girl on
Facebook who looks like a prostitute while my beloved claims to be earning
money online.
“How deep do you want to
continue digging this hole before I let you both lay in it?” My beloved
states flatly, even surprising me. “The prostitute in question is a young
mother named Chevy Leigh. I have represented her three times in my articles
which have earned me many thousands of page views and hundreds of dollars in
revenue. The article topics were not about her profession as a stripper. In
truth she dances on a stage in a bikini that is less revealing than what most
girls wear on a beach. The topics were about her stolen basset hound, self
respect in a shitty world and her mother’s cancer. She is frequently asked if
she likes what she does. Her reply is always the same. She likes the money that
feeds her kids and helps with her mother’s medical expenses. I have never once
judged Chevy and she considers me a dear friend for this. Brother Ebb, you saw
her image on my computer and judged us both. But shall we turn that judgment upon
you now?” My beloved’s voice again becomes much colder than mind
could ever be. My harsh tone comes from truth whereas my beloved now wields
truth like a razor.
“Brother Ebb, by your own words,
before you traded one lie for another, you were a meth user and a drug dealer.
When you couldn’t afford your habits you drowned then in booze. As a father,
you were nonexistent and as a son you were much worse than the failure you
portray me to be. Being a pastor comes as easy to you as selling death to
addicts. In truth, there is no difference. You only kill many more people and
destroy more lives via the Christian/Israeli war effort now than you ever did
as a drug dealer. I lost a child, brother Ebb. She was murdered and I only
drank because of that. I got caught because I was not as accomplished as a
drunk as you were. So judge me as you will. I have no judgment toward you. I
would appreciate your keeping your judgment place squarely upon yourself where
it belongs. I could have respected the murderer you were as a dealer of drugs
more than the murderer you are standing before me now.” My beloved’s
damning words rang through my ears and silenced the room.
I felt the mind of my beloved open
up and all the pain rushed back in. In an instant she was reduced to tears barely
capable of speech. It was the mere mention of the dead child that caused this.
My beloved struggled to continue. “Judy has told you so much in her efforts
to construct this lie against me, but do you yet know how all this started?”
She asks Ebb.
“Let me take this, Nakeim!”
I call in desperation to my beloved in her mind. But she refuses. I see by
their expressions both Judy and Ebb gaining confidence as my beloved begins to
falter under the weight of her emotion. “You cannot even talk or defend yourself!”
Still she refuses. “You do not have to allow me to speak through you, but
you cannot prevent me from speaking my mind. You can choose not to convey my
words if you wish.”
Thankfully, neither Judy nor Ebb
chose to press my beloved on the topic of the child. If they had, I am certain,
you would have read the finale of this story within the gruesome headlines of
your newspapers.
My beloved regains her composure
somewhat. “It started with my failure. I pissed off everyone in my life to
appease Lynn
I speak now into my beloved’s mind.
“Realize the truth of your own words as you speak them. The pain of this has
been twisted against you like a blade in your side and you must let it go. Judy
uses your pain to keep you on your knees while using your agony, even your
screams as evidence to others of your wretched nature.” My own voice is now
quivering. For a demonic presence, I am made quite emotional. Admittedly, I am
taking a great deal of my beloved’s pain onto myself without her consent.
As predicted, the discussion did
not work in Judy’s favor. In her bringing Ebb directly into the situation, she
now has to own up to her claims of help she has made to others. And she utterly
severed any possible future of a relationship with her child. Whether or not
Ebb would admit, by her own words, Judy was repeatedly caught within her own
lies before a witness. She displayed herself as the main reason for her own
child’s misery to this witness. Finally, the one thing Judy never wanted to
happen was for someone to help her child escape her grasp.
My beloved concluded this
discussion and, in truth, both brother Ebb and Judy were happy to be done with
it. “Everything agreed upon here has been pleaded before. Judy refused to
return anything she has taken from me. She has conveyed to strangers she has
received nothing from me and that I live off her. So be it. If this tentative
agreement stands and all works out, I will be gone from here within 3 months
and Judy will be left alone as is her deserving fate.”
I actually rode home with Brother
Ebb; A dead entity staring at him from his passenger seat. I was curious to
glean his thoughts. Of course this is impossible for me. I am not of his kind
nor is he merged with me as are my sisters. But his face revealed all I needed
to know. He wept on his way home. Not because he had any semblance of empathy
for my beloved, but only because so much of himself was revealed in the
discussion. The most damning words of my beloved that moved Pastor Ebb was when
she said, “Physics is the only true gospel. In your search for, God you
should have become a math professor.” It floored the man. Naki is so
accustomed to Universal Truth that she did not take into account how toxic even
a small portion of truth is to the mind of the indoctrinated.
I returned to my beloved who is now
too distraught to sleep. I try to comfort her. “This was your exorcism,
love. You have shown a harsh light upon the nature of what Judy is and she must
now live up to the claims she has made.” I tell her. “And, in that, you
did very well. Perhaps there is some truth to exorcisms. Yours effectively cast
Judy out!”
In closing. Like brother Ebb, all
of you are now witnesses as well. For the record, there is a snake, but not in
this scenario. My beloved has a way with predatory and even venomous creatures.
The viper and those like it are responsible for the death of a handful of
people in this area every year. In truth, I only reveal how my beloved could
resolve herself of Judy within the course of a day. But, as mentioned before,
because my beloved is aware of a thing does not mean she will act upon it. The
truth and moral to those like Judy is that the viper does roam the yard and
could easily end up in a box belonging to those you persecute.
No comments:
Post a Comment